I think in the 12 years J and I have been together we have celebrated valentines day once. It's just not our thing. We're not particularly romantic people and whilst we love each other dearly, we're just can't abide the whole lovey dovey heart themed crap. We normally buy each other a card and sometimes a small gift, but's it's never romantic. Last year J bought me a lottery scratch card as a valentines gift and this year I bought him a card that says 'I love you. Someone has to.'. You get the gist.
Not only that, but I just can't bring myself to 'buy in' to valentines day and I mean that quite literally. A ridiculously overpriced dinner at a restaurant that forces you to pick something you don't really want from their valentines themed set menu whilst sitting amongst a room of couples who aren't really talking but are out for dinner because they feel they should be doesn't particularly appeal. I know. I am the Scrooge of valentines day.
In some ways I quite like the fact that there is a day to remind us of the love in our lives as it's so easy to get caught up in normal every day life and forget to acknowledge those we love but I don't really like how over-hyped it has become. Like pretty much every 'holiday we celebrate in the UK', it has become much more about how it looks, instead of what it means. We have again become consumed by how much money we spend on our displays of affection when actually money shouldn't come into or alter any kind of love that's real.
With this in mind, J and I decided to have a much needed, low key afternoon out together. One of the challenges of having a child who is very kindly looked after by grandparents so that you can work is the fact that you feel a bit guilty asking for them to look after your children at other times so that you can go out. I'm sure they wouldn't mind but they already give us a lot of free babysitting time and I don't want to take advantage of their generosity. So, knowing that O would be at nursery for the day, J and I booked a days annual leave and went out for a lazy lunch and an afternoon film at the flicks. Nothing fancy, lunch at a certain peri peri chicken restaurant followed by 'The Theory of Everything' sat in the premium seats (maybe a little bit fancy). We ate too much, laughed a lot and enjoyed spending time as J and K rather than mama and daddy. Unlike valentines day, it didn't feel forced. it was just nice to be in each other's company, doing the things that we like.
One of the reasons that I started writing this blog was to think about all of the different roles I have. So often I slack on my role as a wife and partner because there are always so many things happening that seem to be more urgent. Perhaps it's easier to do this because I have the good fortune to be in a strong and stable marriage but I do know that this needs to be invested in and I want to get better at in in the future.
Maybe for some people making a big deal on valentines day is really important and that's fine but we'll probably just stick to a home cooked dinner and a night watching the box.
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