I think in the 12 years J and I have been together we have celebrated valentines day once. It's just not our thing. We're not particularly romantic people and whilst we love each other dearly, we're just can't abide the whole lovey dovey heart themed crap. We normally buy each other a card and sometimes a small gift, but's it's never romantic. Last year J bought me a lottery scratch card as a valentines gift and this year I bought him a card that says 'I love you. Someone has to.'. You get the gist.
Not only that, but I just can't bring myself to 'buy in' to valentines day and I mean that quite literally. A ridiculously overpriced dinner at a restaurant that forces you to pick something you don't really want from their valentines themed set menu whilst sitting amongst a room of couples who aren't really talking but are out for dinner because they feel they should be doesn't particularly appeal. I know. I am the Scrooge of valentines day.
In some ways I quite like the fact that there is a day to remind us of the love in our lives as it's so easy to get caught up in normal every day life and forget to acknowledge those we love but I don't really like how over-hyped it has become. Like pretty much every 'holiday we celebrate in the UK', it has become much more about how it looks, instead of what it means. We have again become consumed by how much money we spend on our displays of affection when actually money shouldn't come into or alter any kind of love that's real.
With this in mind, J and I decided to have a much needed, low key afternoon out together. One of the challenges of having a child who is very kindly looked after by grandparents so that you can work is the fact that you feel a bit guilty asking for them to look after your children at other times so that you can go out. I'm sure they wouldn't mind but they already give us a lot of free babysitting time and I don't want to take advantage of their generosity. So, knowing that O would be at nursery for the day, J and I booked a days annual leave and went out for a lazy lunch and an afternoon film at the flicks. Nothing fancy, lunch at a certain peri peri chicken restaurant followed by 'The Theory of Everything' sat in the premium seats (maybe a little bit fancy). We ate too much, laughed a lot and enjoyed spending time as J and K rather than mama and daddy. Unlike valentines day, it didn't feel forced. it was just nice to be in each other's company, doing the things that we like.
One of the reasons that I started writing this blog was to think about all of the different roles I have. So often I slack on my role as a wife and partner because there are always so many things happening that seem to be more urgent. Perhaps it's easier to do this because I have the good fortune to be in a strong and stable marriage but I do know that this needs to be invested in and I want to get better at in in the future.
Maybe for some people making a big deal on valentines day is really important and that's fine but we'll probably just stick to a home cooked dinner and a night watching the box.
Thursday, 12 February 2015
Saturday, 7 February 2015
An inspirational Saturday
Today I attended a Christian women's conference. I confess to generally being wary of women only events as experience tells me that they are often saccharin sweet and frilly or power hungry and man hating, neither of which particularly appeals. Not only that but I often leave these events feeling a bit rubbish about myself because unlike the key speaker I have not single handly found a cure for some horrific tropical disease whilst writing a book, raising 5 children, running a shelter for the homeless and looking like I've just stepped out of a Whistles catalogue (okay a slight exaggeration - I don't think Whistles do a catalogue but you get the gist). However the promise of some interesting speakers and lunch thrown in was enough to encourage me to sign up for my church's annual women's conference and it didn't disappoint.
Not only did I have the privilege of listening to some extroadinary stories of faith (both from the speakers and my friends), learn a bit more about the content of the bible (I have possibly the least biblical knowledge of any Christian ever) and take part in some great worship (my hubby was in the band) but I also got to catch up with some friends and wave at others from afar. I also learnt and refreshed some things that I thought I'd share with you in the hope you find it useful whether you share my faith, have a different one or none.
Firstly, everyone is precious and valuable. Perhaps if we all realised this we wouldn't be so shitty to each other and the world would be a much friendlier, safer place.
Secondly, people try to cover up how things really are so we need to make sure that we encourage and support each other. We need to offer support and mean it and create a safe environment that allows us to be open and honest and vulnerable to deepen our relationships with each other.
Thirdly, we need to stick up for those who are marginalised and vulnerable, even if it feels uncomfortable or inconvenient.
Fourthly, great things are possible. We all have amazing potential and can do great things regardless of how ill-equipped or inadequate we feel.
Fifthly, it's not all about us. We live in a society that constantly promotes selfishness and doing things only for your own benefit. Is this the basis of a healthy society? Try doing something nice/helpful for someone else. You might be surprised how good it feels!
Lastly, I learnt that I don't like minestrone soup.
All in all, a successful day!
Not only did I have the privilege of listening to some extroadinary stories of faith (both from the speakers and my friends), learn a bit more about the content of the bible (I have possibly the least biblical knowledge of any Christian ever) and take part in some great worship (my hubby was in the band) but I also got to catch up with some friends and wave at others from afar. I also learnt and refreshed some things that I thought I'd share with you in the hope you find it useful whether you share my faith, have a different one or none.
Firstly, everyone is precious and valuable. Perhaps if we all realised this we wouldn't be so shitty to each other and the world would be a much friendlier, safer place.
Secondly, people try to cover up how things really are so we need to make sure that we encourage and support each other. We need to offer support and mean it and create a safe environment that allows us to be open and honest and vulnerable to deepen our relationships with each other.
Thirdly, we need to stick up for those who are marginalised and vulnerable, even if it feels uncomfortable or inconvenient.
Fourthly, great things are possible. We all have amazing potential and can do great things regardless of how ill-equipped or inadequate we feel.
Fifthly, it's not all about us. We live in a society that constantly promotes selfishness and doing things only for your own benefit. Is this the basis of a healthy society? Try doing something nice/helpful for someone else. You might be surprised how good it feels!
Lastly, I learnt that I don't like minestrone soup.
All in all, a successful day!
Friday, 6 February 2015
Waiting for spring
I don't know about you but I am so eager for the spring to arrive. As I was sat working in my lounge today the sun began to push through the clouds and it reminded me how ready I am for a change in season. There's something lovely about winter - cosy nights in, snuggly jumpers, my beloved slow cooker to name a few of the best bits but I'm done now. I'm ready for the flowers to bloom, to leave the house without being cocooned in 20 layers (possibly a slight exaggeration) and to not want to close my curtains at three in the afternoon because its dark outside.
I love the British summertime, there really is nothing quite like it and I am so looking forward to a summer of picnics, lazy Sunday afternoon barbecues and walks along the seafront munching on a Rossi's ice cream (a local summer staple). I am ready to ditch the heavy boots and jumpers in favour of a bretton stripe and a pair of ballet pumps. I want to eat delicious British strawberries and spend time pottering in the garden.
This summer is also going to be brilliant as O will be exploring more which means we can all enjoy family days outside at the park, the beach and the zoo. There's only so long you can entertain a busy toddler at home when it's cold and raining so I can't wait to take her out more.
Come on spring, I'm ready for you!
I love the British summertime, there really is nothing quite like it and I am so looking forward to a summer of picnics, lazy Sunday afternoon barbecues and walks along the seafront munching on a Rossi's ice cream (a local summer staple). I am ready to ditch the heavy boots and jumpers in favour of a bretton stripe and a pair of ballet pumps. I want to eat delicious British strawberries and spend time pottering in the garden.
This summer is also going to be brilliant as O will be exploring more which means we can all enjoy family days outside at the park, the beach and the zoo. There's only so long you can entertain a busy toddler at home when it's cold and raining so I can't wait to take her out more.
Come on spring, I'm ready for you!
Tuesday, 3 February 2015
What happened to January? !
I don't know about you but it feels like January has flown by with barely a chance to come up for air. It's been a funny month. One which has seen our house plagued with winter illnesses which has meant the postponing of various things in favour of hunkering down with snuggly jumpers and antibiotics.
This period of hibernation has however given me the opportunity to think back to my 'resolutions' for this year and how I am doing so far. I've also been thinking about my goals, what I want and how I would like life to be and trying to make some small steps towards these.
One of the biggest priorities for me is to move house. It makes sense for us to stay put for this year to maximise our chances of moving to a house we can stay in for a while so I am making efforts and plans to make sure the house is looking it's best for when we put it on the market. The decluttering is underway with bags of rubbish being thrown out and items donated to the charity shop. I will soon be arranging for the rendor on our house and the wooden windows to be painted. Once spring arrives, we will hire a skip and clear out the shed, the second bedroom (aka junk storage facility) and tidy the garden. Not only will these things make living here a bit more pleasant but hopefully will also contribute to a quick sale when we put the house on the market.
Another priority this year is to have more fun and time with family and friends. The postponing of my 30th birthday celebrations aside, I have been able to spend time with family, laugh with friends over cocktails and make some plans for later in the year. I like to have things to look forward to so would like to get some other bits booked into the diary.
As you all know it's important to me to have a richer quality of life and whilst planning ahead is important, I also want to acknowledge the richness and many blessings that are here already. This is normally the simple stuff that is easy to take for granted but I like to step back and take stock. Not everyone is fortunate to be surrounded by lovely family and friends, have a warm home, a comfy bed, a choice and abundance of food and access to a hot shower. I encourage you all to take a step back and see all of the wonderful things you've got.
I'll try not to leave it a month next time!
This period of hibernation has however given me the opportunity to think back to my 'resolutions' for this year and how I am doing so far. I've also been thinking about my goals, what I want and how I would like life to be and trying to make some small steps towards these.
One of the biggest priorities for me is to move house. It makes sense for us to stay put for this year to maximise our chances of moving to a house we can stay in for a while so I am making efforts and plans to make sure the house is looking it's best for when we put it on the market. The decluttering is underway with bags of rubbish being thrown out and items donated to the charity shop. I will soon be arranging for the rendor on our house and the wooden windows to be painted. Once spring arrives, we will hire a skip and clear out the shed, the second bedroom (aka junk storage facility) and tidy the garden. Not only will these things make living here a bit more pleasant but hopefully will also contribute to a quick sale when we put the house on the market.
Another priority this year is to have more fun and time with family and friends. The postponing of my 30th birthday celebrations aside, I have been able to spend time with family, laugh with friends over cocktails and make some plans for later in the year. I like to have things to look forward to so would like to get some other bits booked into the diary.
As you all know it's important to me to have a richer quality of life and whilst planning ahead is important, I also want to acknowledge the richness and many blessings that are here already. This is normally the simple stuff that is easy to take for granted but I like to step back and take stock. Not everyone is fortunate to be surrounded by lovely family and friends, have a warm home, a comfy bed, a choice and abundance of food and access to a hot shower. I encourage you all to take a step back and see all of the wonderful things you've got.
I'll try not to leave it a month next time!
Saturday, 3 January 2015
30 things in 30 years
In less than a weeks time I will be turning 30. It was always an age that seemed so far away and I remember as a teenager thinking about what I would do during my 20s and what I would have achieved by 30. Some of it happened and some of it didn't but as I was pondering I came up with a list of 30 significant things that have happened in my 30 years. Not all of these things may seem significant to you, not all of things have been pleasant or enjoyable, some of these things are only significant because of the people or places linked with these experiences and some I just think are 'cool' but each of these things is significant to me and my life....
- Getting married
- Becoming a mother
- Quitting university
- Learnt to read
- Laughed until I cried
- Eaten pizza in Italy
- Seen a show on Broadway
- Had a conversation with a stranger
- Eaten tapas in Spain
- Stood in the desert
- Been in a band
- Had a picnic on the beach
- Seen Julie Walters play 'Mrs O' live on stage
- Listened to jazz at Ronnie Scotts
- Stood at the foot of the Eiffel Tower
- Had afternoon tea at the Dorchester
- Seen in the New Year in Prague
- Been on Radio 1
- Worked backstage on a West End show
- Watched Shakespeare in Stratford upon Avon
- Truly appreciated the moment
- Bought a house
- Trained as a counsellor
- Eaten fish that I've caught
- Been to the opera
- Learnt to drive
- Had a full body massage
- Watched ballet
- Learnt to play a musical instrument
- Become a Christian
This list is in no particular order and are a fraction of the many experiences that I have had so far but as I sit here and reflect, I feel privileged to have done so much and excited to get on and do some more!
Monday, 29 December 2014
New year, new start....
Hope you've all had a lovely Christmas!
Christmas here was full of everything I love during the festive season - family time, friend time, good food, nostalgic films, theatre, apple and cinnamon scented candles, cosy jumpers and festive church services. I was well and truly spoilt and got some much needed time to relax with the people I love.
Without the business of 'normal life', it's been a time to reflect on the past year too. I think that 2014 has been one of the hardest and most emotional years of my life. Lots of great stuff has happened (I got to know my daughter more, watch her grow, laugh with her, cuddle her, listen to her snoring, spent time with my brilliant husband, enjoyed time with family and friends, had a few lovely breaks away amongst other things) but I have spent much of the year feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Health issues, a change in job and a unsuccessful house move have taken up a lot of time this year physically and emotionally and going into 2015, I know that I don't want to carry all of that with me. Fortunately my health is improving, work is going pretty well, the house move is on hold for the foreseeable future and the stress is lessening. As we near the end of 2014, I feel like I am coming out of the fog and starting to journey into a much better place. With that in mind I have decided not to make any new years resolutions (does anyone actually keep them?!) and am opting to have a year of less of some things and more of others.
So here's what I want more and less of in 2015....
Anyone else fancy joining me in the challenge?
Christmas here was full of everything I love during the festive season - family time, friend time, good food, nostalgic films, theatre, apple and cinnamon scented candles, cosy jumpers and festive church services. I was well and truly spoilt and got some much needed time to relax with the people I love.
Without the business of 'normal life', it's been a time to reflect on the past year too. I think that 2014 has been one of the hardest and most emotional years of my life. Lots of great stuff has happened (I got to know my daughter more, watch her grow, laugh with her, cuddle her, listen to her snoring, spent time with my brilliant husband, enjoyed time with family and friends, had a few lovely breaks away amongst other things) but I have spent much of the year feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Health issues, a change in job and a unsuccessful house move have taken up a lot of time this year physically and emotionally and going into 2015, I know that I don't want to carry all of that with me. Fortunately my health is improving, work is going pretty well, the house move is on hold for the foreseeable future and the stress is lessening. As we near the end of 2014, I feel like I am coming out of the fog and starting to journey into a much better place. With that in mind I have decided not to make any new years resolutions (does anyone actually keep them?!) and am opting to have a year of less of some things and more of others.
So here's what I want more and less of in 2015....
- More faith
- More peace
- More laughter
- More time with those I love
- More fun
- More relaxing
- More reading
- More experience
- More good health
- More time making a positive difference to others
- More courage
- More music
- More learning
- More time outside
- Less stress
- Less worry
- Less clutter in my house
- Less fear of 'what ifs'
- Less junk food (that's going to be really tough)
- Less moaning
- Less selfishness
- Less comparison
- Less materialism
- Less envy
Anyone else fancy joining me in the challenge?
Sunday, 21 December 2014
It's been a while...
It's been long time since I last posted anything on this blog. Life gets pretty busy and I also haven't quite known what to write. A lot has happened but it doesn't feel appropriate to bare all on here so I've stayed silent. I thought I'd just give you a bit of an update.
Today marks the end of a lovely week of annual leave. Work has been busy and tiring and it definitely felt like time to have a break. Luckily J was due some annual leave too so this week we have been able to recharge the batteries. We've had some great family time with O, eaten some yummy food, spent time with loved ones, read books and watched lots of films. I also made sure that everything is ready for Christmas as we are not going to have much time to prepare this week as we will be back at work. I am ending the week by going to the carol service at church and eating a home made slow cooked beef bourginon.
On the eve of returning to work, I have the same feeling I used to get as a student the night before term started, although with Christmas in the next few days it'll be a couple of weeks before 'normality' resumes.
O is continuing to flourish. She has a wonderful sense of humour and fun and for the most part is an absolute joy to be around. Despite a temper that appears whenever she can't get what she wants, I love being around her and it has been great to spend more time with her this week. I feel the guilt of being a working mum returning as I think about all I need to do for work tomorrow but I am hoping that in the long run working will be the right choice.
But for now I am going to enjoy the last few hours of my annual leave.
Today marks the end of a lovely week of annual leave. Work has been busy and tiring and it definitely felt like time to have a break. Luckily J was due some annual leave too so this week we have been able to recharge the batteries. We've had some great family time with O, eaten some yummy food, spent time with loved ones, read books and watched lots of films. I also made sure that everything is ready for Christmas as we are not going to have much time to prepare this week as we will be back at work. I am ending the week by going to the carol service at church and eating a home made slow cooked beef bourginon.
On the eve of returning to work, I have the same feeling I used to get as a student the night before term started, although with Christmas in the next few days it'll be a couple of weeks before 'normality' resumes.
O is continuing to flourish. She has a wonderful sense of humour and fun and for the most part is an absolute joy to be around. Despite a temper that appears whenever she can't get what she wants, I love being around her and it has been great to spend more time with her this week. I feel the guilt of being a working mum returning as I think about all I need to do for work tomorrow but I am hoping that in the long run working will be the right choice.
But for now I am going to enjoy the last few hours of my annual leave.
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