An early valentines date

I think in the 12 years J and I have been together we have celebrated valentines day once. It's just not our thing. We're not particularly romantic people and whilst we love each other dearly, we're just can't abide the whole lovey dovey heart themed crap. We normally buy each other a card and sometimes a small gift, but's it's never romantic. Last year J bought me a lottery scratch card as a valentines gift and this year I bought him a card that says 'I love you. Someone has to.'. You get the gist.

Not only that, but I just can't bring myself to 'buy in' to valentines day and I mean that quite literally. A ridiculously overpriced dinner at a restaurant that forces you to pick something you don't really want from their valentines themed set menu whilst sitting amongst a room of couples who aren't really talking but are out for dinner because they feel they should be doesn't particularly appeal. I know. I am the Scrooge of valentines day.

In some ways I quite like the fact that there is a day to remind us of the love in our lives as it's so easy to get caught up in normal every day life and forget to acknowledge those we love but I don't really like how over-hyped it has become. Like pretty much every 'holiday we celebrate in the UK', it has become much more about how it looks, instead of what it means. We have again become consumed by how much money we spend on our displays of affection when actually money shouldn't come into or alter any kind of love that's real.

With this in mind, J and I decided to have a much needed, low key afternoon out together. One of the challenges of having a child who is very kindly looked after by grandparents so that you can work is the fact that you feel a bit guilty asking for them to look after your children at other times so that you can go out. I'm sure they wouldn't mind but they already give us a lot of free babysitting time and I don't want to take advantage of their generosity. So, knowing that O would be at nursery for the day, J and I booked a days annual leave and went out for a lazy lunch and an afternoon film at the flicks. Nothing fancy, lunch at a certain peri peri chicken restaurant followed by 'The Theory of Everything' sat in the premium seats (maybe a little bit fancy). We ate too much, laughed a lot and enjoyed spending time as J and K rather than mama and daddy. Unlike valentines day, it didn't feel forced. it was just nice to be in each other's company, doing the things that we like.

One of the reasons that I started writing this blog was to think about all of the different roles I have. So often I slack on my role as a wife and partner because there are always so many things happening that seem to be more urgent. Perhaps it's easier to do this because I have the good fortune to be in a strong and stable marriage but I do know that this needs to be invested in and I want to get better at in in the future.

Maybe for some people making a big deal on valentines day is really important and that's fine but we'll probably just stick to a home cooked dinner and a night watching the box.

    

An inspirational Saturday

Today I attended a Christian women's conference.  I confess to generally being wary of women only events as experience tells me that they are often saccharin sweet and frilly or power hungry and man hating, neither of which particularly appeals. Not only that but I often leave these events feeling a bit rubbish about myself because unlike the key speaker I have not single handly found a cure for some horrific tropical disease whilst writing a book, raising 5 children, running a shelter for the homeless and looking like I've just stepped out of a Whistles catalogue (okay a slight exaggeration - I don't think Whistles do a catalogue but you get the gist). However the promise of some interesting speakers and lunch thrown in was enough to encourage me to sign up for my church's annual women's conference  and it didn't disappoint.

Not only did I have the privilege of listening to some extroadinary stories of faith (both from the speakers and my friends), learn a bit more about the content of the bible (I have possibly the least biblical knowledge of any Christian ever) and take part in some great worship (my hubby was in the band) but I also got to catch up with some friends and wave at others from afar. I also learnt and refreshed some things that I thought I'd share with you in the hope you find it useful whether you share my faith, have a different one or none.

Firstly, everyone is precious and valuable. Perhaps if we all realised this we wouldn't be so shitty to each other and the world would be a much friendlier, safer place.

Secondly, people try to cover up how things really are so we need to make sure that we encourage and support each other. We need to offer support and mean it and create a safe environment that allows us to be open and honest and vulnerable to deepen our relationships with each other.

Thirdly, we need to stick up for those who are marginalised and vulnerable, even if it feels uncomfortable or inconvenient.

Fourthly, great things are possible. We all have amazing potential and can do great things regardless of how ill-equipped or inadequate we feel.

Fifthly, it's not all about us. We live in a society that constantly promotes selfishness and doing things only for your own benefit. Is this the basis of a healthy society? Try doing something nice/helpful for someone else. You might be surprised how good it feels!

Lastly, I learnt that I don't like minestrone soup.

All in all, a successful day!

Waiting for spring

I don't know about you but I am so eager for the spring to arrive. As I was sat working in my lounge today the sun began to push through the clouds and it reminded me how ready I am for a change in season. There's something lovely about winter - cosy nights in, snuggly jumpers, my beloved slow cooker to name a few of the best bits but I'm done now. I'm ready for the flowers to bloom, to leave the house without being cocooned in 20 layers (possibly a slight exaggeration) and to not want to close my curtains at three in the afternoon because its dark outside.

I love the British summertime, there really is nothing quite like it and I am so looking forward to a summer of picnics, lazy Sunday afternoon barbecues and walks along the seafront munching on a Rossi's ice cream (a local summer staple). I am ready to ditch the heavy boots and jumpers in favour of a bretton stripe and a pair of ballet pumps. I want to eat delicious British strawberries and spend time pottering in the garden.

This summer is also going to be brilliant as O will be exploring more which means we can all enjoy family days outside at the park, the beach and the zoo. There's only so long you can entertain a busy toddler at home when it's cold and raining so I can't wait to take her out more.

Come on spring, I'm ready for you!

What happened to January? !

I don't know about you but it feels like January has flown by with barely a chance to come up for air. It's been a funny month. One which has seen our house plagued with winter illnesses which has meant the postponing of various things in favour of hunkering down with snuggly jumpers and antibiotics.

This period of hibernation has however given me the opportunity to think back to my 'resolutions' for this year and how I am doing so far. I've also been thinking about my goals, what I want and how I would like life to be and trying to make some small steps towards these.

One of the biggest priorities for me is to move house. It makes sense for us to stay put for this year to maximise our chances of moving to a house we can stay in for a while so I am making efforts and plans to make sure the house is looking it's best for when we put it on the market. The decluttering is underway with bags of rubbish being thrown out and items donated to the charity shop. I will soon be arranging for the rendor on our house and the wooden windows to be painted. Once spring arrives, we will hire a skip and clear out the shed, the second bedroom (aka junk storage facility) and tidy the garden. Not only will these things make living here a bit more pleasant but hopefully will also contribute to a quick sale when we put the house on the market.

Another priority this year is to have more fun and time with family and friends. The postponing of my 30th birthday celebrations aside, I have been able to spend time with family, laugh with friends over cocktails and make some plans for later in the year. I like to have things to look forward to so would like to get some other bits booked into the diary.

As you all know it's important to me to have a richer quality of life and whilst planning ahead is important,  I also want to acknowledge the richness and many blessings that are here already. This is normally the simple stuff that is easy to take for granted but I like to step back and take stock. Not everyone is fortunate to be surrounded by lovely family and friends, have a warm home, a comfy bed, a choice and abundance of food and access to a hot shower. I encourage you all to take a step back and see all of the wonderful things you've got.

I'll try not to leave it a month next time!