J and I have owned our house for 7 years. Our house is only one of two on our street but being in an residential area, we have lots of other houses only a stone's throw away. Being part of a community has always been important to me but I have come to the realisation that I'm a bit crap at it. During the past seven years J and I have always been polite and considerate to those living around us. We say hello if our paths cross and try not to make too much noise if we have guests. We have gotten to know the family next door fairly well, but I couldn't tell you much about anyone else living in close proximity to us. That is until recently. ..
One of the things often on my mind is not only my desire to live in closer community but to try to be a person who is generous with my time, supporting, encouraging and showing love to those around me. I try to do this with my family and friends (although still have a way to go) but I have neglected those people that I see almost on a daily basis, living yards away from my front door.
The strange thing is that since we started thinking about putting the house on the market, opportunities to start building relationships in my community have presented themselves.
On the corner of our road is a house that is crumbling away. The paint has long peeled off the windows, there are large cracks in the walls and the garden is overgrown with weeds that are no longer being contained by the inadequate fencing. The house is owned by an elderly man who often stands outside his house watching the world go by. I have often said hello to him whilst walking past but a few weeks ago decided to stop and chat. It was a brilliant and heartbreaking experience all at the same time. In 20 minutes, I had learnt stories of this man's life, stories of this area in which he has lived for over 60 years and more importantly that he feels lonely. His wife has died, he lives away from family and is alone. The only break in his isolation is the daily visit from his carer. As we ended our conversation he thanked me for stopping to talk to him and I walked away with tears in my eyes.
Today we had an unexpected visit from a woman whose garden backs onto ours. She had noticed that our car had a flat tyre and knocked at the door to let us know. My husband invited her in for a cup of tea and 30 minutes later had been let into her world and found yet again that we live yards from someone who is desperately lonely.
There is a saying that one of the lonliest places to be is in a crowd but I am mortified to find that I have been part of that crowd. I have not yet figured out what I am going to do about this but I do feel challenged to do something.
I also want to challenge you. Do you know your neighbours? What part could you play in making someone's life less lonely? How could you encourage those around you? How can you show kindness to others? In a society that promotes independance (isolation), could you play a part in community building?
I'd love to hear your experiences and ideas!
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