Hey readers,
My apologies for not writing for such a long time. Things have been super busy. I am not going to say too much at the moment in case things don't go to plan but let's just say there may be some exciting and scary changes happening in the near future.
Work is exhausting and I am failing miserably in the quest for a work/life balance. Despite working part time, there are lots of things going on at work and to say it is stressful feels like an understatement. Thoughts of work are permeating most aspects of life and thus I feel like an emotional and physical wreck most of the time. This is certainly not what I imagined being a working mum would be like. It saddens me because I used to enjoy my job and it saddens me because I don't feel fully present when I am at home with my family. I am frustrated that this is the shape of my life for the time being and frustrated that I can't control the physical symptoms of stress that I am experiencing. I am sure that I am not unique in feeling like this but I just hate it. It has however felt like a splendid excuse to watch ridiculous amounts of not so great telly (watching a 'well balanced, non-biased' channel 5 documentary on benefits claimants as I write) and eat double chocolate cookies whilst sitting in my pyjamas.
Something needs to change and so J and I have been having some serious conversations about a way forward. I know that I want to be in place where I feel at peace and content with life. I want to fully enjoy the time I have with my friends and family. I am learning that I don't need much to be happy and that actually I am more suited to a simple life.
So J and I have come up with some potential solutions which feels like a step forward but until we are more certain about what to do, I am going to leave you in suspense for the time being....
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