Another lazy weekend filled with musings

Another tough week has been rewarded with the weekend. Saturday was a day of cleaning the house, playing with O, eating homemade bolognese pizzas and watching Twister (always love a 90's tastic film as an early Saturday evening treat). Sunday was a morning at church, a roast dinner in my mum's garden and by far one of the biggest treats ever....an afternoon nap! I can't remember if I've blogged about the joys of afternoon nap but it has become a thing of serious luxury. Now I love my little girl to bits but after a massive Sunday lunch all I want to do is plonk myself in a comfy chair and doze off whilst watching a murder mystery on ITV 3. Unless by some miracle O has worn herself out, Sunday afternoons are now filled with building towers out of stacking cups, blowing raspberries on O's tummy and preventing her from launching herself off/over any piece of furniture that she has decided is now a climbing frame. I love it, I really do but today when my mum suggested taking O out for a walk to give J and I the chance to snooze in the garden, we couldn't get them out of the door fast enough ! It was blissful.

One of the things I often worry about is that I don't live my life fully enough. I spend a lot of time feeling like I should be busier like I should be packing more adventurous, exciting things into my time. Social media adds fuel to the fire as I see exotic holidays, nights out drinking cocktails, people that seem more creative than me, people who look better than ke, people who have 'exciting' jobs and I find myself comparing. Horrible but true. I sometimes fail to see the richness of my life because I often think I do more, I should be more than I am.

However this weekend life felt full, it felt rich with life and it was good.

Finding calm in the storm

It's finally here. The storm that has been brewing has finally cut it's way through the searing, humidity to bring the cleansing and life giving rain and I am loving it. I love the low rumbles of the thunder, the icy blue landscape that is shown for a fraction of a second with each lightening bolt and the glorious sound of the heavy rain. As I sit in my home with the lights down low, a film on the telly and the storm in the background, I feel a much needed contentment and sense of calm.

A great end to a not so great week.

Saturdaytastic!

During my week I often think about things I could blog about. These are often important deep and meaningful things that challenge me about life. However when it comes to actually typing about it writers block kicks in and I end up writing about something else (usually trivial). Today is no exception. Well apart from the fact I have nothing deep and meaningful but just fancied writing so I thought I'd share a bit about my day (if anyone's interested).

Saturdays are fast becoming my favourite day of the week. Mainly because I get a whole day with J and O without the feeling of work approaching doom that comes with Sunday.

So today went as follows;

Had a lay in until 9.50 (thank you J for getting up with O, I am SO grateful! ). We all spent the day in our pjs watching telly and playing. Whilst this may sound slobby, I love it. I find a huge amount of joy in being able to sit on the sofa in a pair of fleecy baggy trousers with an elasticated waist and have spent many a Saturday in such a state. Today we discovered BBC 2's new drama 'The Honourable Woman' on i-player. I'm hooked, I think it's going to be a really good series which will be very welcome after the disappointment of the new series' of 24 and Hannibal.

Anyway, slobbing, eating and playtime was followed by a quick clean and tidy up (stuff shoved in drawers and a spritz of antibacterial spray around the house). We then got dressed and went to my mums for fajitas (a staple Saturday night dinner in my family).

Dinner wolfed down and a bag of food to bring home(thanks mum!), we returned to our house to get O to bed and again I find myself sat in my pjs watching telly.

As I predicted yesterday, there were times today when I wished I were doing something more 'significant'. Times when I compared myself to others, times spent daydreaming about other places but when it comes down to it, a relaxed day at home with my beloved family is a rich and abundant day.

Hope you're enjoying your Saturday!

Living for the weekend!

Just a short post this evening.... I am SO glad it's Friday! I need this weekend. I need to relax. I need to spend time with my family and friends. I need to just be.

It's been another difficult and busy week. I am feeling the weight of responsibility and frustration bear down on me as I continue to juggle family life and an increasingly demanding job. I feel exhausted and overwhelmed and so the opportunity for two days at home with family is a very very welcome arrival.

In essence the plans are as follows: eat, sleep, play with O, spend time with J, watch telly, go to church and see friends.

I am sure that I will feel like I should be doing more with my weekend. I'm sure that at some point I will feel jealous of the exciting things I see people doing this weekend when I look on facebook. However this weekend, I need simplicity. And that is just splendid.

Moan, moan, moan

Hey readers,

My apologies for not writing for such a long time. Things have been super busy. I am not going to say too much at the moment in case things don't go to plan but let's just say there may be some exciting and scary changes happening in the near future.

Work is exhausting and I am failing miserably in the quest for a work/life balance. Despite working part time, there are lots of things going on at work and to say it is stressful feels like an understatement. Thoughts of work are permeating most aspects of life and thus I feel like an emotional and physical wreck most of the time. This is certainly not what I imagined being a working mum would be like. It saddens me because I used to enjoy my job and it saddens me because I don't feel fully present when I am at home with my family. I am frustrated that this is the shape of my life for the time being and frustrated that I can't control the physical symptoms of stress that I am experiencing. I am sure that I am not unique in feeling like this but I just hate it. It has however felt like a splendid excuse to watch ridiculous amounts of not so great telly (watching a 'well balanced, non-biased'  channel 5 documentary on benefits claimants as I write) and eat double chocolate cookies whilst sitting in my pyjamas.

Something needs to change and so J and I have been having some serious conversations about a way forward. I know that I want to be in place where I feel at peace and content with life. I want to fully enjoy the time I have with my friends and family. I am learning that I don't need much to be happy and that actually I am more suited to a simple life.

So J and I have come up with some potential solutions which feels like a step forward but until we are more certain about what to do, I am going to leave you in suspense for the time being....